The Crisis Anthology: DC's Big Blunder

In 1934, a comics company called National Allied Publications was formed, and after the successful launch of three magazines (New Fun, New Comics, and Detective Comics) they became Detective Comics, Inc. With their release of Action Comics #1 in June of 1938, they released something this world had never seen before: super heroes. They became so popular, that more companies began releasing magazines featuring these heroes, thus starting the Golden Age of Comics. The Golden Age would end in October of 1956 with the introduction of Barry Allen, the second Flash. And although the transition from Golden to Silver was very easy to see, the transition to the Bronze Age of Comics was kind of hazy. Some attribute it to companies shying away from the Comics Code Authority, while other say it was Jack Kirby's move from Marvel to DC so he could do New Gods. But the switch from Bronze to Modern is very easy to pinpoint. The Modern Age of Comics began in 1986 with DC's release of Crisis on Infinite Earths. DC wanted to do Crisis on Infinite Earths to sort of clean up their history. Before then, different writers had their own time lines, which were just explained away as being "alternate universes" and therefore not relating to one another in any way. As one could well imagine, it could get a little confusing for some people, but it shouldn't have been that confusing! Just look on page one for the writer...'nuff said.

But alas, DC decided to reboot the universe with a twelve issue miniseries known as Crisis on Infinite Earths. The mini-series involved a plot by the Anti-Monitor to destroy every parallel universe in existence until he is defeated by a small group of heroes from the five remaining earths. After it ended, DC's books were restarted. Origins had to be retold, bad guys had to be re-introduced, and sidekicks were mostly given the boot. Of course, this boosted sales like no one would believe, which of course was the plan the whole time. Not only that, but continuity was no longer confusing for people, opening comics to a whole new readership. On the surface, this seemed like a great idea...everyone profited! But alas, this was not to be, as the time line got more convoluted and had to be rebooted again in 1994 by Zero Hour: Crisis in Time. This time, Hal Jordan, a.k.a. Green Lantern goes batshit crazy and starts calling himself Parallax before he starts trying to go back to the beginning of time to prevent any bad event from ever happening, therefore eliminating pain from existence. So after the time lime is reset again, DC didn't have to restart everything again, as there were only minor changes to the universe. Amazingly, DC went eleven years without fucking anything up...then in 2005 came Infinity Crisis. This time, Superboy-Prime and Alexander Luthor, minor characters from Crisis on Infinite Earths, came back as villains and basically killed a lot of people, including this world's Superboy, Connor Kent. Infinity Crisis lead in 52, which is way too fucking convoluted for me to go into details here, but basically it's the rebirth of the multiverse. After 52, there are a total of 52 Earths, each one incredibly unique in its own way, but still way too difficult for a handful of writers to deal with, so these Earths start getting killed off and destroyed. This, of course, leads to yet another event Final Crisis. Apparently, it's about the day that "evil won", but we'll see just where this is going with this mysterious Libra character that they've re-introduced. My prediction? Libra is Alexander Luthor. I claim here and now, that if I'm right, I'll eat a puppy and post the evidence here.

So why is it that they could go over half a decade without crossovers or rebooting the whole universe, yet now we have to do it every six years? Is it the money that they rake in by the millions? Or is it bad writing, writing that is getting so predictable that these people have to "change things" just to keep loyal readers? Maybe its a combination of both, but whatever they're doing, it's working. Oh and by the way, I refuse to eat puppies: I don't give a fuck who Libra is.

Comics: Yesterday's Fun, Today's Cash Cow

I have been a big fan of comic book mythology for as long as I can remember. My dad was the one who initially got me into comics as much as I am today. To start with, I had the same interest in Superman, Wolverine, and Batman as any other young boy my age. But then the event that started my love affair with DC Comics happened: My dad came home from a yard sale with the entire collection of DC's Who's Who. For those of you who have never heard of Who's Who, its basically the DC Encyclopedia for the 1980s. It was released in a monthly issue format, totaling out to twenty-six issues of encyclopedic knowledge about the DC Universe. Not only did this series explain exactly who Aquaman was by detailing such important things as his real name and powers, even going into detail about his fictional history, but it even showcased minor characters like Fastback (A turtle with Flash-like speed abilities) and Nemesis (Ironically enough, a good guy). Because of my age, I did not get these books until the mid-nineties, so most of the information was out of date, as half of the characters had died and came back at least once. (Superman? Hal Jordan? I'm looking at you guys.) I eventually pieced my own knowledge together over the years of buying issue after issue of comics and reading them from cover to cover many times over, carefully absorbing every word like a sponge. Because of this infatuation (And maybe that I was not very attractive due to acne, braces, and coke-bottle glasses before they were considered "cool".) I did not date very much until I was seventeen. This was a magic time; Comics were suddenly cool and I suddenly got way too attractive for my own good. I met a girl named...well her name isn't important, but she's pivotal in all this too. You see, my knowledge was still pretty limited back then until she got me the DC Encyclopedia for Christmas. It was filled with up to date info-nuggets for my consumption, and I was convinced I would never find anything better. Then along came Wikipedia. Not only is it up to date, but it is always up to date because it is updated at least weekly. (Even I have contributed.) Unfortunately, my golden age of comics was about to end. I was still of the mind that even though I had a limitless source of knowledge, I still had to buy my monthly issues of series that I cared about. This ended with the release of the long awaited series 52. 52 was a weekly series that ran for, you guessed it, 52 weeks. A year of weekly trips to the comic store, just waiting to see what new juicy revelations will be dropped this week. As much as I absolutely loved the storylines featured in 52, I couldn't wait for it to end. At $2.50 per issue just for this one series, my comics loyalty was getting expensive. As the series drew closer to an end, those rat bastards dropped another bomb on us: After 52 was over, a new weekly series entitled Countdown was to begin, leading to DC's biggest crossover event ever, Final Crisis. I took the news decently enough, but when the newest issue of 52 came out, it happened. I had told myself, and a woman I was seeing, that I would officially stop buying individual issues of comics if I could correctly guess the identity of Supernova, a central character in the series. I said with her as my witness that Supernova was either Michael Jon Carter (Booster Gold, "dead" since 52, Issue 1) or Ted Kord (Blue Beetle, dead since Countdown to Infinite Crisis) returned somehow from the dead. And wouldn't you know? Michael was never dead in the first place and was Booster Gold and Supernova at the same time. I guess I just know comics way too well. Since this tragic event, I've only been purchasing collected editions. They're cheaper in the long run, and I still get my fix.

Now, it doesn't end there. I'm hoping to carry on my love of comics to the next generation of nerds with the series I'm working on, Messengers. Not only am I hoping to keep comics going, but maybe even jump on the new bandwagon that comics seem to be on nowadays. Movies. Ever since X-Men (or some would argue Blade), comic-based movies have been coming out fast enough to make me poor all over again. Now a lot of people will probably read this and ask about the Batman movies, or the Superman ones as well. I will admit that yes, they were popular, but they didn't kick off a spandex trend quite like X-Men did. Hollywood is even starting to go with independent books, like Hancock and Invincible, with just as much success as movies like Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk. With Watchmen soon to be released, the hype is astounding not only for this movie but all other comics movies slated for the future.

This trend of comics love shows no signs of stopping, and I could not be happier.

Fanboyism in Modern Video Gaming

I love video games. I'd play them constantly if I could. And of course, like any other hardcore gamer, I buy the newest generation systems when I can afford them. I am the proud owner of a Playstation 3, as well as my older systems. I have owned an X-Box 360, but this was before the inherent bugs, like the infamous "Red Ring of Death", were fixed. Mine died four times before I said "Fuck it." to Microsoft. Apparently, these bugs have been fixed, so maybe the time has come for me to get another new 360. But a huge problem I have with modern gaming is the elitism that comes with owning these gaming systems. I was lurking various net forums for Fallout 3, a game that I had planned on buying the millisecond I could afford it. Within minutes, I see X360 fanboys ranting about how the 360 has better graphics than the PS3 version and because of that its so much better. Now by the time I had the chance to play those versions, as I do not have a gaming caliber PC, I could not tell the difference whatsoever. And really, even if there were a difference, why should it matter? I can remeber a day when these things did't matter, before the collective mind of America's youth could be corrpted by the Internet and opinions of other jack-holes from far away.

The first time I ever had to deal with video game fanboyism was when I was eight years old and on the school bus arguing with some older kid over which system was better: Sega Genesis or Super Nintendo? Keep in mind that back then, people were under the impression that video games weren't going to get much better than they currently were. His argument was that certain games only appeared on the Genesis, while mine was very much the same for my SNES. What was the difference? Well now that I have both systems I can honestly say that they're about the same, but more often than not, games were multi-platform, even back then. Of course whether or not someone wanted to play Sonic the Hedgehog back then was the deciding factor of the question "Sega or Nintendo?". Nowadays, people have to be even more informed. There are three major platforms now: Sony's PlayStation 3, Microsoft's X-Box 360, and Nintendo's Wii. Just like back then, many titles are multi-platform, however there are now more things to consider. Do I want the almighty Blu-Ray compatibility, or more games? A fun experience for everyone or just the hardcore gamer in me? Super Mario Galaxy, Mass Efect, or Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots? Honestly, it wouldn't hurt anything but your wallet to get them all now. Personally, I have a PS3 and want to buy a new 360, and I don't care at all about the Wii. I have a friend who has a Wii and wants a 360 and thinks the PS3 should burn in Hell. Everyone has varying opinions, and they are all valid.

Looking at things from a business perspective, Microsoft has it right. they've got a good balance going. Of course, more 360 owners are hardcore gamers, and that's fine. The PlayStation 3 has one major flaw: Sony is trying to sell "non-games" to gamers. The PS3 is great as a multimedia hub. I use it to browse the Internet quite a bit, as well as watch DVD's and Blu-Rays, listen to my music stored in the hard drive, and play the small selection of games that I have. This is the same philosophy that Sony followed with the PSP, and look what happened. The PSP is a very distant second to the Nintendo DS. This is not to say that the PSP is a bad hand held, its just not as popular as the DS because Sony overestimated the popularity of the UMD format. (Incidentally, there are still UMDs being released as of the publish date of this article.) Nintendo had another good idea with their philosophy, opposite that of Sony's: sell games to non-gamers. Makes a lot of sense, except when they are trying to make everyone happy, they miss out on the hardcore gamer market. The Wii is a gaming system one should get if they have a lot of parties, have room mates or children, or just really like kids' games. The Wii was designed specifically for having fun with your friends. Microsoft has no qualms about what the X-Box 360 is supposed to represent: simply, selling games to gamers. Maybe Sony and Nintendo need to take a gander at what they're doing and change accordingly.

All that being said, I think Fanboyism needs to end. Fanboyism is only the jealousy that people get when they can't afford all three systems. When this happens, these people seem to only care about the one system they do own and only do their research based on what they want to hear. After their limited research these people go on assorted gaming forums and sound like asshats because they didn't do proper research before making ridiculous claims such as "Metal Gear Solid 4 could never work on the X-Box 360!" or "OMG Fallout 3 has shitty graphics on the PS3 compared to the X-Box 360!". But really what are video games in the end? We all know that it is a major industry in today's America, as well as the world as a whole. But when we get down to the core of the issue, games are supposed to be fun. Not points for argument, not pawns for Capitalistic gain, and certainly not a chore.

Jesus

Wow, as a first post, maybe Jesus was not the smartest target to go for, but then again, I've just weeded out the closed-minded. If you're still here, either you're a brave soul, or just one of my friends in the real world, in which case I say read on, and don't be a gentle critic. Now I'll bet you're asking yourselves, why attack Jesus? Well guess what? I'm not attacking Jesus. That would be fucked up. Instead, I'm attacking the people who use His name as an excuse to be ignorant in their ways about life. I'm getting ahead of myself...let's start at the man.

It's commonly accepted that Jesus was born in Bethlehem, and lived most of His days in that area of the world. Is everyone with me when I say that it's extremely unlikely that Jesus ever visited the United States of America, or for that matter the land that would eventually become the USA? Good. Then why is it that it's also commonly accepted that Jesus looked like this?What part of "Bethlehem is in the Middle-East" do people, especially religious zealots, not seem to understand? There was NO WAY Jesus would have been a white guy being born there, unless Mary was also wh- oh damn. Apparently she was.

Yikes. No wonder she was a virgin.

That means one of three things:

1: The Bible is wrong about everything.

2: Jesus really was white.

3: White people are in charge of the modern portraits of Biblical figures.

So which one is it? I'm sure we can discount Number One. I'd be killed otherwise. Number Two would make a lot of Red State individuals happy, but unfortunately for them, that is extremely unlikely and impossible to prove beyond a reasonable doubt. So really, that leaves Number Three. Well that's refreshing.

White people really are some of the most ego-centric people ever, not including Flava-Flav. (For the record, I am a White male.) But would they really put all logic aside to make our Lord and Saviour look like them? Yes.Yes, they would.

I'm guessing a white guy did not draw this.

"Where's your proof? Your sources?" Don't worry...I can hear your crawling doubts from here. Well guess what? I don't have any. You'll just have to trust me. I'm a good Christian man who just happens to beleive that Jesus was black. Or Middle-Eastern. Just not White is all I'm saying. Sure there's the argument that he was Jewish. But so is Lenny Kravitz.

Jesus?

I leave this entry with some food for your thoughts. Do you really think all Christians want peace with everyone else and to sing Kumbaya by the damn bonfire? Oh, hell no. I know of a group who wants the opposite. Check out the forums at landoverbaptist.com...I hope you'll be as thoroghly entertained as I was. This may be a joke site, but keep this in mind: There are really people just like that in the real world.